1. The I Forgot Some Stuff Airhead
You’re like, “Oh, this person doesn’t have a lot of stuff. I will get out of here quick”.
Just when they put up their last item they suddenly remember something.
“Oh my goodness! I forgot the Depends for Grandpa Elmo. And while I’m at it I’d better get some skittles for my already hyperactive children. I’m sorry, It will only take a minute. I hope you don’t mind”.
2. The I’m So Stupid I Can’t Count Moron
You’re like, “All I have is this bag of Cheetos. This 20 Items or Less line will be a snap.”
There is always that one person in front of you with about 50 items. They try to act all nonchalant about it. Then they look up at the sign. “Oh, this is the 20 items or less line. I had no idea. Silly me”. Okay, whatever you say, LIAR.
3. The Slow as Crap Multi-tasker
They’re like, “Look at how talented I am. I can talk on the phone, scold my child, AND use my extra hand to put items on the conveyer belt ever so slowly. I’ll be done in about a million years. Hope you don’t die waiting in line”.
4. The Expired Coupon/Are you Sure I Don’t Have That Item Ditz
So, the cashier rings up all her stuff and she’s like, “Oh wait, I have coupons. A gazillion of them. Let me dig through my purse and see if I can find them. Oh, here’s one that’s expired and you’re not going to take it. I’ll try anyway. Oh look, here’s one for Malt-O-Meal; an item that I am not even purchasing. I’m sure you won’t notice. Please look through all of my items, that you’ve already bagged, and make sure that I don’t have it. Please do this for every coupon that I take out of disorganized purse ever so slowly”.
5. The I Don’t Know How To Work The Credit Card Machine Old Person
Now let’s see, do I slide the card this way or that way? Does the black strip go on the top or the bottom? Why isn’t it working? What’s that beeping noise? What’s that button for? What’s a PIN number?…oh what, that’s my social security card.
There are a few other types, too. Like:
The I Don’t Have Enough Money, So Start Taking Stuff Off Bozo
The I’m Going To Write a Check and Take Forever To Fill it Out Old Lady
The I Have A Million Kids and am Bringing All of Them With Me Distressed Mother
These did not make the top 5. You will, however, encounter them from time to time.