OMG, major traumatic news. American Idol is ending. Well, there’s going to be one more season and then…KAPUT! CANCELLED!!!
How on earth are we going to find talented individuals to represent and make money for the music industry? It’s a travesty, that’s what it is. A MOTHER F**KING TRAVESTY.
Just think of all of those broken hearts. All of those semi/but not really-talented kids who grew up thinking, “When I turn 15, I’m going to try out for American Idol. It is my dream. It is my passion. It is my calling”
And what about those mothers and fathers.
My baby is talented. My baby gonna WIN that show one day!
Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your baby is not going to win American Idol one day. It is a 21st Century institution that is saying “Adios, kiddies. It was fun while it lasted”.
The first season of American Idol. Oh my, what an event. It was new, it was dramatic. And Kelly Clarkson, what an amazing talent. Fourteen years later and she is still going strong. And of course there is Carrie Underwood. She has done very well for herself. And what about…ummm…what about…oh well, anyway, that’s all the good ones that I can think of. Oh wait, Jennifer Hudson. She didn’t win, but wow, she did really good for herself. An Academy Award and all that mess. And she came in 5th. Pretty damn good.
Letting America pick the winner of American Idol via telephone, internet and text voting, is kind of like playing Musical Russian Roulette. Sometimes the bullet is going to knock out the talented singers and leave you with semi-cutesy little no-talents.
He’s just darlin’, I think I’ll vote for him. He can’t sing, but he’s just so precious. Like a little puppy.
The kid has already been brainwashed by his parents and choir teacher, and now he’s receiving affirmation from America.
“People keep voting for me. I must really be talented. I am going to be a Superstar forever”.
Newsflash: No you won’t. You might be kinda famous until about 5 minutes after you get booted from the show. Then you’ll be nobody again.
Or maybe you’re one the singers that they make fun of. Not so much in the past few seasons, though. I guess Idol jumped on the stop bullying bandwagon. They like to keep up with the times.
That goes for music styles, too. In the beginning it was all pop and top 40. Then a rock person snuck in. Then a country person. Then a hard rock. Then an alternative. And then, OMG, indie.
They finally decided, “Wait, there are other styles of music, too. And people listen to them. We should put some of those people through. Spin the roulette wheel to see which genre and which representative of that genre will get put through this year. Make sure they’re cute, quirky, used to be homeless, overcame a disease, or had a family member that recently passed away. A family member that is now looking down at them from Heaven…and smiling.
Ryan Seacrest: Your PawPaw would be so proud of you right now.
Poor country dirt farmer contestant from Hicksville: I know. All of my dreams are coming true. I am truly blessed. Thank You Idol and America.
…and then you get booted, and nobody gives a shit about you or your pawpaw. Thems the breaks kid. Better luck next time.
So now Idol is ending and we’re going to be stuck with America’s Got Talent. Never is a million years would I have guessed that Idol would be cancelled before that. But then again, I guess that people like Carnival Side Show Freak Shows more than they like Karaoke night at the local high school.
ps – I am not hating on Idol. I watch the thing. I record it and fast forward through the singing, but I watch it.