Fractious Friday

I woke up with this song in my head!

I have no clue where it came from. It was just there in my head. It took me a while to figure out what it was. I was like, “What! Why is Tammy Wynette in my head”?

Anyway, the song is so horribly tragic.

DeeDee was sick at work yesterday. But, then again she’s always sick. Sometimes, she comes to work with an entire roll of toilet paper; so she can blow her nose every 5 minutes. She’s probably the most knowledgeable person there, but she’s in illness anguish about half the time she’s there. I don’t know if it’s allergies, or what. She’s only 24. I’m like, “Girl, get some shots or something”.

I got 2 new shirts in the mail yesterday. Black, of course. Everything is black. Black pants, black shoes, black shirts. Heaven forbid if I should call attention to myself with color.

I’m dog sitting this weekend. My cousin Heather is like, “Can you watch Zep (short for Zepplin) over the weekend. Brandon and I are going to a basketball game in whateverville“.
Sure, whatever. I’m like the last minutes family emergency dumping ground. Last in party invitations. First in crisis favors. It’s because I’m so affably accommodating. Risible Robert, that’s me. Actually, it’s Bumptious Bob. I just put up a good front.
(Wow! Three alliteratives in one paragraph. Give ME a fucking A in literature).

It’s so muggy and humid today. Which is just going to make me Mr. Cranky Crank. I don’t like heat. And I sure as hell don’t like that sticky wet crap making me feel all ooky.
Hey, stop complaining.

It’s Friday. That’s good, kind of. I guess. You have to understand. I have to get this all out of my system NOW, so I don’t go to work and be all mean to everybody. Snide and sarcastic and snippy. That’s not very good citizenship. And Heaven forbid that I should be a bad mother fucking citizen.
Follow the rules and stay in line, Bob. Don’t think for yourself. Be productive. Smile.

Great. It just started raining and I have to walk a mile to work. Thanks a lot Zeus.

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Categories: The Bob Files

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