Daily Prompt – From You to You

Write a letter to your 14-year old self.

Dear Bob,

Wow, I can’t believe you’re 14 already. You’re voice has changed and you don’t sound like a girl anymore. Next year, you’ll be able to get into R-rated movies and they won’t even card you. Cool, huh.

14 years old

I know you think those sideburns are pretty groovy, but they’re not. Also, get ready for braces next year.

Don’t go roller skating on Friday night. You’re going to fall and break your arm. You’ll have to wear a cast for 6 weeks and at about week 5 you’ll get a wrench stuck down in it. I know, you just want to see if you can do it. Well, don’t. It will get stuck and hurt like a son of a bitch. They’ll have to cut it off and put on a new cast. You never listen, so why am I even telling you.

Don’t run from girls at school. It’s not cute. People will make fun of you. Just pretend you like them. Try to act like the other guys. I know that you know you’re different. That’s because you’re gay. People in the early 70s don’t really understand what that is. You’re confused about it too, but someday you’ll figure it out. Kind of. Okay, maybe not all of it.

Stop staring at you’re Civics teacher’s crotch. Sure, he wears those groovy, tight polyester pants, and there’s a bulge, but I’m pretty sure he knows what you’re going. It’s just downright embarrassing and you need to stop it.
ps. You get a A in Civics. You’re such a good citizen.

In  band, you’re going to get first chair percussion. Even with a broken arm. But, you really shouldn’t play. You’re bone hasn’t set properly and it will grow back kind of wack. Wack is a word from the 90s. You’ll use it a lot one day. It means fucked up and stuff. Anyway, yeah. You’re arm is going to be kind of jacked up (another term you’ll use a lot) and you’ll develop arthritis. You’ll be like, “Why the fuck did I continue to play the drums right after they reset my arm”. Anyway, live and learn.

High School is going to suck, so get ready. Dad is going to leave mom for some Korean chick who’s only a few years older than you are now. I know, right. Weird. You thought they’d be together forever. Well, that shit didn’t work out. Anyway, Mom will freak and then get over it. She’ll start dating some guy named Carl and they’ll eventually get married. Carl has a son named David. He is half Thai and was adopted when he was a baby. He will be you’re new stepbrother. At home it will all be cool, but at school he will ignore you.
Anyway, David is now married. He got his girlfriend pregnant and they got married. They have 2 sons. Both are really smart. One has a PhD. and is a college professor in West Virginia. The other one is some type of behavioral specialist.

You’ll go to college and major in music. You’ll have lots of friends. You’ll even join a fraternity. You’ll hate it though. You’ll be the vice president of your pledge class – a pledge class so horrible, that they’ll make you all pledge for another 6 weeks. You’ll quit twice. They’ll beg you to come back. “Why”, you ask yourself. You continue to be a rebel, but finally make it through. During hell week they’ll threaten to blackball you. They won’t.
You’ll play in all kinds of music groups. It’s fun, but you won’t really have a passion for it. Everything about it will pretty much be perfunctory. I know you don’t know what that means, so go look it up. It’s in that dictionary in the bottom of the china cabinet.

As you get older, you’ll have tons or relationships. None of them will mean anything to you. Well, maybe one. After a while, you’ll just forget the relationships and just have one night stands. You’ll wonder why. One day you’ll discover that you’re probably a narcissistic egoist. Also, not a team player. Sure, you’ll act the part, but that’s just so you can get along. You’ll go to therapy a couple of times and then decide that these guys are quacks. You’ll soon discover that everybody is fucked up, and that you’re probably not as bad as most.

I know that this is a lot to dump on you, and that you probably won’t understand most of it because you’re only 14 – but just think about it. I won’t reveal everything that will happen to you, because I don’t want you to start crying like the big baby I know you can be. Just know that in 44 years you’ll still be alive.

Yours Truly,
You in 44 years

ps. That Halley’s Comet thing is not going to be as big a deal as you think it is now.

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